Women, Water and The Way

Nothing in the world
is as soft and yielding as water.
Yet for dissolving the hard and inflexible,
nothing can surpass it.
Dao De Jing, Chapter 78

The Dao De Jing describes the way of yin, the feminine, as being ‘water’ and that of the complementing yang, masculine, as fire. Throughout recent history there has been a shift in the internal energies in both sexes, resulting in women now having too much fire. Women’s water-based nature has been forgotten and they are no longer expressing their innate way of being. This is having a negative impact on mankind as a whole. Without the true influence of the feminine the world is becoming more volatile; a fire burning out of control. Only women have the power to quench the fire of the masculine. Therefore women must find their way back to the water and to the true seat of their power.

An excess of fire in women manifests mainly in the following symptoms.

- Thinking too much
- A tendency to become impatient, depressed or aggressive
- Frequently feeling anger, self doubt and despair
- Nervousness and anxiety
- Antagonistic behaviour
- Stubbornness and an inability to ‘let things go’
- Being easily emotionally disturbed
- Problems in the menstrual cycle
- Addiction to sugar and an unhealthy relationship to food
- Thinning hair

The imbalance will express itself every day in a woman’s emotions, behaviour and contact with her environment. For example, perhaps she hears she is being accused of something she did not do in her workplace. The general response to this is to become worried, angry, upset and eventually confrontational. The fire will take the woman through many emotions very quickly, exhausting her in the process. Her mind runs a hundred scenarios over how this has happened and she will become angry with the people involved and afraid of the outcome. She will justify and feed her anger by endlessly going over the situation internally. She will disturb herself and those around her by acting from these feelings. This response comes from the fire.

A response from water allows the woman to act very differently. She is flexible to the day unfolding differently that it has before. She is patient and waits. She keeps busy doing things until something in the situation changes and requires her attention. When she does have the opportunity to explain her side and listen to the other she is kind and gentle, and firm if necessary. Whatever happens, the woman retains her power, her centre. She does not waste energy being disturbed or causing negativity in herself or her relationship to the workplace. She lets go of controlling the situation, and frees herself from the control of an overactive mind.

The modern view of women being ‘equal’ to men does not mean that they are the same. Women and men are equal in value, but their natures are far from being identical. In Daoist teachings the words translated describing the feminine are often ‘submissive’, ‘soft’, ‘yielding’ and ‘receptive’. The word ‘submissive’ is somewhat unacceptable to women in the west, but in this context it does not refer to submitting to the power of men. Instead it is the act of willingly submitting to the dao - relinquishing the need to control the world and instead following the flow of arising conditions. Water in its earthly form has unpredictable and free movements with no jarring actions, no conflict. It flows around, over and through obstacles while nurturing and changing its environment. This is the natural disposition of women, yet it is the opposite of how many conduct themselves today.

Reuniting with the water-self does not determine that all women should be inactive, quiet and shy. It is independent of character and personality and surpasses the ‘black and white’ nature of our current society. The most vivacious, outgoing and determined woman can still be yielding. She can be strong and still be submissive. She can submit to the changes in her surroundings without losing her power or potency. What can stop the flow of a river? It has continuous strength, subtle and invisible except at times in the way it flows. It is capable of being gentle and soothing, or an awesome spectacle which all give way to. When the river submits to being confined in a narrow gully it does not relinquish its power, only makes its way through, gradually eroding the surroundings to be more comfortable for its flow. This is the way of a woman. Persuasive, influential, flexible. Aware of the subtlety of her power and the deep enjoyment that comes of using it wisely. 

After centuries of habit it may seem like an impossible task to become water. But as we become conscious of a choice in our way of being, we find that living in the water is much easier than a life in fire. There is an effortlessness, a growth of energy both physical and spiritual, and a life that feels more manageable and less overwhelming. In Daoism both sexes are advised to learn the way of water. Women are just very lucky that if they allow it, it comes naturally.

Rachael is from Scotland and travelled to Wudang in 2009 to become a student of Master Yuan. She has trained widely in spiritual practices and teaches yoga, martial arts and shamanic work when not in China. Her focus is the wider application of daoist philosophy to today's world and increasing health and spiritual wellbeing through the teachings and practice.

Rachael Dunsmore
www.soenren.com